Monday, March 30, 2015
Friday, February 27, 2015
The Blindness We Have as a People
What is there but we choose not see
It amazes me to this day how blind we as a people can be. We walk down the streets and we don’t even see the homeless, the suffering. We hear the yells and screams at times but somehow they just mean nothing. We don’t get involved. It is not our place to interfere so we have told ourselves so often that nothing affects us at all anymore. We have become blind.
The problem with being blind is atrocities are still happening all around us. They could even happen to us. Then we would truly understand what it means to have no one see when you need them. It is time we open our eyes and start seeing what is actually there. Notice the man who lays by wall shivering with the sign. See the lady in complex who always wears sunglasses and is “clumsy” getting bruised often. See the kids who look half starved. See people, see your world and then decide if you still want to pretend you see nothing.
We can pretend it’s not a problem. At least it is not your problem because surely someone else will fix it. You can believe that if you need to hold onto that belief in order to sleep comfortably in your bed at night. In reality you know that no one is going to do anything differently. Tomorrow everything will just be just the same as it was today. People as a whole like to believe that someone else will fix it. Most people are walking around with this belief. If everyone believes someone else will fix the the problem, then who is left to fix anything? You can choose to continue to be blind to the world or you can choose to act.
You can talk to the lady about domestic violence. You can offer to go with her to places for help. You can call the police when you hear the screams. You can give the man on the street a blanket. You can volunteer to provide breakfast for those kids you see always hungry. You have a lot of choices. The choices are all around you, all you have to do is pick one.
Once you have decided to see the world, you can choose to help in any way that suits you best. One person can not fix everything themselves. Trying to take it all on would be too much; that is the truth. For every one person who chooses to do something to help, you are at least making a difference in a way that was possible for you. You can advocate for more people to look around at this world we live in, in our very own neighborhoods. We can choose to lose our blindness as people. We can choose to stop walking around as if nothing was wrong, the world is perfect place. We can choose to open our eyes. Once your eyes are open, the rest is up to you.
It amazes me to this day how blind we as a people can be. We walk down the streets and we don’t even see the homeless, the suffering. We hear the yells and screams at times but somehow they just mean nothing. We don’t get involved. It is not our place to interfere so we have told ourselves so often that nothing affects us at all anymore. We have become blind.
The problem with being blind is atrocities are still happening all around us. They could even happen to us. Then we would truly understand what it means to have no one see when you need them. It is time we open our eyes and start seeing what is actually there. Notice the man who lays by wall shivering with the sign. See the lady in complex who always wears sunglasses and is “clumsy” getting bruised often. See the kids who look half starved. See people, see your world and then decide if you still want to pretend you see nothing.
We can pretend it’s not a problem. At least it is not your problem because surely someone else will fix it. You can believe that if you need to hold onto that belief in order to sleep comfortably in your bed at night. In reality you know that no one is going to do anything differently. Tomorrow everything will just be just the same as it was today. People as a whole like to believe that someone else will fix it. Most people are walking around with this belief. If everyone believes someone else will fix the the problem, then who is left to fix anything? You can choose to continue to be blind to the world or you can choose to act.
You can talk to the lady about domestic violence. You can offer to go with her to places for help. You can call the police when you hear the screams. You can give the man on the street a blanket. You can volunteer to provide breakfast for those kids you see always hungry. You have a lot of choices. The choices are all around you, all you have to do is pick one.
Once you have decided to see the world, you can choose to help in any way that suits you best. One person can not fix everything themselves. Trying to take it all on would be too much; that is the truth. For every one person who chooses to do something to help, you are at least making a difference in a way that was possible for you. You can advocate for more people to look around at this world we live in, in our very own neighborhoods. We can choose to lose our blindness as people. We can choose to stop walking around as if nothing was wrong, the world is perfect place. We can choose to open our eyes. Once your eyes are open, the rest is up to you.
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Thursday, January 22, 2015
Started a new blog radio show it is me being real & I hope you read the blog and then listen in thanks
I have started a new Blogtalkradio show. It is called Life's Lessons & Extreme Content. Here is the link
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/everimprovingme
You can call in (347) 843-4325 and dissuss the topic that was picked for the day. There is also a chat that happens at the same time if you do not feel comfortable calling. Finally you can email me questions
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/everimprovingme#
at least it says I can get messages there so give it a try if you want. For the first time in my life I am merging my hidden DID world with my other world. It is time.
I also have a Facebook page that I would love for you to like and comment on it.
https://www.facebook.com/EIMLifesLessonsExtremeContent
I am hoping to have some help in coming up with topics to cover. I also have not set a time of day. The cool thing is that I can do this every day. My thoughts are kind of going towards having differnt days wth diffent times to accomedate people better. I would love to hear thoughts on this as well. So please feel free to go to my page and follow my radio show and like my fb page.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/everimprovingme
You can call in (347) 843-4325 and dissuss the topic that was picked for the day. There is also a chat that happens at the same time if you do not feel comfortable calling. Finally you can email me questions
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/everimprovingme#
at least it says I can get messages there so give it a try if you want. For the first time in my life I am merging my hidden DID world with my other world. It is time.
I also have a Facebook page that I would love for you to like and comment on it.
https://www.facebook.com/EIMLifesLessonsExtremeContent
I am hoping to have some help in coming up with topics to cover. I also have not set a time of day. The cool thing is that I can do this every day. My thoughts are kind of going towards having differnt days wth diffent times to accomedate people better. I would love to hear thoughts on this as well. So please feel free to go to my page and follow my radio show and like my fb page.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Follow up appointment with the surgery team.
Video about my follow up with my surgeon, self esteem, and writers block
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
I wish I didn't always care as deeply as I do for people and that I knew how to let go easier.
Of course it happened. It was bound to happen if I stayed. In someways it was easier than I thought it would be but in someways it is so much worse. Now of course all the usual thoughts that are always waiting at the ready to strike have started viciously attacking my mind and spirit. I hear how I will never be good enough, and how I am really too pathetic. I hear thoughts about my worth and lack there of. I hear words from conversations replaying in my mind as if the they record is somehow stuck and all it can do is repeat the same thing over and over. Why would anyone want someone as weak as I am? Someone who has spent her life on the edges never really living usually just surviving. I see the looks I am all to familiar with though not one I ever thought I would see from you.
It is the look that says, "I don't see you. How could I possibly see someone who does not exist?" Of course I am just as bad because when I saw that look all I did was look down at my lap and cease to exist because what else could I do. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I can be me and still be accepted and not tossed away to become a nothing once again. I wonder if I can just be me for me with out needing or wanting anything from anyone as I say at times. I wonder if I can truly feel the lack of caring I can sometimes effect in an act at times. I wonder if I pretend long enough if it will come true. I wonder if I will ever feel special and not worry about the intent of the one making me feel special. I hope that I can let go of all my negative associations and move forward. I hope that the next time I see you the memories of your touch are gone. I hope I can figure out this trick of people becoming non-existent nothings so emotions stop touching me also and I am able to walk by someone without a care, without a glance, without a tear. I hope I can learn to be ok and at peace someday.
I no longer want to behave in a passive aggressive manner. It is difficult to do when you are unable to work through things with someone. Instead I am working through it in my own head and in my blog. I won't ask for anyone's forgiveness because these are my words. I have a lot of things in my life that cause me to feel deep sadness and sorrow. I am trying to move past these things. I do not always know how. I am a very emotional person and that has been known to get me in trouble in the past, far and near. I do not always think things through and I wear my heart on my sleeve. It has taken a beating over the course of life. I still believe in love. I do not understand why I feel things so deeply. I do understand that others do not feel things the way I do. That is something that makes me both sad and happy for them. They will never feel the ultimate joys I have felt but they will also hopefully not have to experience the depth of my sorrows either. I think this is pretty much all I have for now. Until next time my loves.
It is the look that says, "I don't see you. How could I possibly see someone who does not exist?" Of course I am just as bad because when I saw that look all I did was look down at my lap and cease to exist because what else could I do. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I can be me and still be accepted and not tossed away to become a nothing once again. I wonder if I can just be me for me with out needing or wanting anything from anyone as I say at times. I wonder if I can truly feel the lack of caring I can sometimes effect in an act at times. I wonder if I pretend long enough if it will come true. I wonder if I will ever feel special and not worry about the intent of the one making me feel special. I hope that I can let go of all my negative associations and move forward. I hope that the next time I see you the memories of your touch are gone. I hope I can figure out this trick of people becoming non-existent nothings so emotions stop touching me also and I am able to walk by someone without a care, without a glance, without a tear. I hope I can learn to be ok and at peace someday.
I no longer want to behave in a passive aggressive manner. It is difficult to do when you are unable to work through things with someone. Instead I am working through it in my own head and in my blog. I won't ask for anyone's forgiveness because these are my words. I have a lot of things in my life that cause me to feel deep sadness and sorrow. I am trying to move past these things. I do not always know how. I am a very emotional person and that has been known to get me in trouble in the past, far and near. I do not always think things through and I wear my heart on my sleeve. It has taken a beating over the course of life. I still believe in love. I do not understand why I feel things so deeply. I do understand that others do not feel things the way I do. That is something that makes me both sad and happy for them. They will never feel the ultimate joys I have felt but they will also hopefully not have to experience the depth of my sorrows either. I think this is pretty much all I have for now. Until next time my loves.