Past but not forgotten.

From the very moment I first heard your voice, I knew you were someone I wanted in my life. A short time later we actually met in person. I felt so at ease and safe with you that I invited you in.

My world had become so isolated and painful. I struggled daily to just survive and exist. I believed my life was near its end. You reminded me that I was very much alive. We spent hours talking, laughing and hanging out.

You saved me. You returned color and warmth to my life. I started living again. I will always cherish the time we had together. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that place, back to the beginning. I do not know if I would do anything differently. I would probably just be glad to see you again. I miss you. 

I just exploded a pot of scarves and wool.. not a good day

Lately, I have felt the desire (finally) to dye a few things. I dyed some yarn up for a friend. I was so excited and happy to see it. The color is perfect, at least, I am pretty sure. I didn't even realize there was anything wrong until I was hanging the yarn to dry. It is a silk/merino mix, really quite lovely to work with.

I don't know what I did wrong. The yarn is only that beautiful color on the outside of the skeins. The inside is matted together. I mean its still totally usable but its not up to par. That was a real disappointment. I was trying to reskein it to see if I could recover it somehow when I heard a loud pop and bang.

I rushed to the kitchen to see a that I was trying to set some scarves and wool in had over heated. The pressure from the boiling shot the lid off. I have turned off the burner and removed the pot to let it cool, but I just feel fricken devastated. It just won't go right, and I don't know how to change it. 

Setting goals and feeling better

Hello all,
As you may well know lately I have been suffering depression, anxiety, and nightmares. I have been under a lot of stress as well, I have found that reaching out to the community of online friends has helped. I have talked to more people online, and chatting on my phone. Little by little I am improving. I have set some small goals to try to achieve daily to help me pull myself up and out of this depression.

When I wake up in the morning, I usually turn on my kettle to make a cup of tea. The goals I have set are as follows. While the water is heating, I will put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher. After I have filled my cup while my tea is steeping, I will put on a load of clothes to be washed. My last goal for the morning is to blog while I drink my tea. These may seem like very small goals but for me it is difficult some mornings to even put the kettle on. That is why I have decided regardless of how I feel, I want to do these 3 goals each morning.

I hope that these goals once firmly established will help me start developing a routine of sorts. I plan on trying what is called 'Opposite Action' as one of my tools to lead a less depressed life. Opposite action basically means feeling one way, but 'Choosing' to do the thing you don't feel like doing, even if it is hard. Now don't start with a huge opposite action. You want your goals attainable. The mind sees each achievement as a success and feels encouraged, regardless of the size, a tiny achievement or a huge one weighs the same to your mind.

For that reason start off with small, tiny, baby steps. Build your confidence and courage slowly. Your depression will improve. This will not happen overnight, but you will start having better days if you do this. So go, have that cup of coffee with friends or see that ballgame. Do something outside of your home at least 1 time every week. You will start feeling better. This is my hope for myself and for you all.

Love & Hugs,
Johanna

The state of my life lately - Part 1

So life constantly stays in flux. I realize now that when I decided I would reopen my shop I was extremely idealistic. I was totally unprepared, thinking I could open with my shoestring budget.That is why the date of the opening keeps being pushed back. I have a lot of personal things happening in my life that have caused me stress and mental anguish. I am going through a painful divorce, to a man I had once believed I would spend my life with. I have been through the wringer these past 2 years. I am finally feeling both hopeful that it should be over completely by March and also deeply saddened by the loss not just of a husband, but of the life we planned. It has not been easy.

I wanted to reopen my fiber arts business for so many reasons. I wanted to make art again. I wanted to have the fiber community back. I wanted my life to restart in any way possible. I believed starting my business again would give me that fresh start. I have had so many unexpected (and unplanned for) issues that at times I have wondered was any of it even worth it.

I have come to realize the fiber arts business that was not the problem. The problem lies with me, my spirit, my will, and my drive. I had completely given up, more than once. I have grown so depressed that at times I could literally do nothing more than lie in bed, fearing if I got up I would do something I would regret. So I hid away, from the people in my life, and from myself. I actually ended up in the hospital several times. I woke up so ashamed and filled with guilt. I have been afraid to speak about it. I have decided I am through hiding.

Part 2 will have more graphic details and could potentially be triggering. If you feel you may be triggered please do not read Part 2. 

Sample knitters needed.

I plan on updating my Yarns list on Ravelry, Facebook EIM Page, and EIM Inspired Fibers website. I am also going to start posting blogs about each individual new yarn with pictures of samples. If anyone wants to volunteer to make a sample please feel free to raise your hand (or message me too lol) and let me know. It would be great if you could critique the yarn as well. I would like to know your thoughts on what you liked about it, not so much or outright disliked. I will need the samples back for photos to put on my blog and website.

In exchange for doing a sample, you will also receive a free yarn of your choice from my new list. Thank you to all volunteers in advance. You can message me here by adding a comment, or on any of my group pages. Thank you.
Johanna

Official Opening Pushed Back to Oct 1, 2015 - Info below

Hi everyone! I know everybody is getting excited about my Fiber Arts shop reopening. Life likes to throw a wrench here and there though. I have had a few time consuming stresses come up that I have to take care of. This takes precious time away from preparing for the Grand Reopening.

Newsletter Signup Here: EIM Inspired Fibers Newsletter

I plan on starting with a well stocked shop full of all sorts of fiber goodies! Opening a month later allows me time to continue to set up shop and make items for the shop. This really is a total rebranding. You are going to be pretty excited I imagine about what will be in stock. I won't tell you everything but I will give you some hints to whet your appetites.

• Hand Dyed Yarns & Combed Tops
• Creative Batts (some of my old favorites just might be there as well as some new)
• Themed Packages much like my SAL/KALs but not quite
• Monthly SAL/KAL - spaces will be limited every month. 
• Some new yarns I have been working on just for you! 
• Goodies that are sure to make you squee with joy

That is really all I can say right now. I will be updating my blog and Facebook page regularly. Right now my Ravelry Group is in full function. I have a chat section, a place to show off goodies, and more. Though I will be opening in October, I am already accepting custom requests. Please email me your requests. Get your request in now to have your items ready in shop when I open. Talk to you soon!

The dilemma of Hand Dyeing vs Water wasted and the need for a purification system.

Hello all. I find I have a major dilemma.

I love dyeing my fibers, fabrics, everything really. Color is who I am. I truly enjoy the process of turning a black slate into something colorful and full of imagination. I see art everywhere. It speaks to my soul. There is a dark side of dyeing though.

As a hand dyer I have to use a lot of water. I try to reuse as much as possible but without an adequate filtration and purification system a lot is wasted. My life philosophy is Ever Improving Me. I believe as a person I will continue to grow and improve always. I also believe I should do my part to improve the world I live in.

 I wanted to reach out to the fiber arts community and people in general. I want to see if anyone has come up with an answer to water purification. It must be on a scale large enough for a hand dyer. It also still must be able fit inside a home or small based business space.

I was researching ideas today and came across this DIY purifier. Has anyone out there made or bought a water purifier for dyeing purposes

• What prompted your decision to make or buy?
• If made, how did you make it?
• If bought, what type did you get?
• How effective do you find it to be?

Please get back to me with your thoughts and ideas. I will probably be exploring this subject much further so I look forward to hearing from you.