I am not taking this lying down!

I refuse to just give up on my dreams, on our dreams. We talked about it last night. I plan on calling Navy Legal today to see if there is anything we can do. Also we have decided to just pursue other avenues for foster care. I feel I have been discriminated against unfairly due to my physical and mental conditions both of which I have a pretty good handle on. Flimsy excuses were given. I was not given a chance to even defend myself. I was also told it is against California state law to discriminate against us for those reasons. No I will not take this lying down.

Today I was told that the foster care agency was not the right one for us.

I am feeling a deep sadness right now. I feel let down. I feel lied to. I feel like my heart is breaking again. Am I ever going to have children in my life? Am I just destined to always be on the outside looking in seeing what everyone else has and I will never have? I know these are very emotional responses and reactions that I am having as I just got the news.

I got the call a few minutes ago. I turned my physical paperwork in last week. I was honest as requested. I was told that the state of California did not allow the agency to discriminate against potential foster parents for documented physical or mental illnesses. They must determine that the child will have an environment that is stabile, safe, fosters growth and improvement for the child in a caring environment. I was certain that would not be an issue and that they would see that once they talked to me. I was scared but reassured that I would have the opportunity to go over everything with the Social workers during the Home Study Process. I had already begun gathering extra references in case they were needed.

Today they told me that they had discussed my physical with the Adoption Social Worker and the Director of the Agency and they had decided because my prognosis was "Fair" that they were not the best fit for us. Then they said they were sorry and asked if I had any questions. At first I was in shock so I said no I understood, because I did. I knew they took a look at some of the things written but not all of them. I tried to call back after a few minutes but had to leave a VM. I asked if it made any difference that every Doctor I have vouched for me saying they believed I would be a wonderful foster parent and adoptive parent. Every person I have ever Nannied for would also vouch for me if I was able to get in touch with them I am certain. The few I did reach already had agreed. I just feel I was not really given a fair chance. All we want to do is to have children but it seems like a dream that is getting harder as we go along.

In our efforts to adopt & grow our Family we are reaching out to you for help. Please Read

 We would love to have a baby. We have decided to pursue adoption, foster care, and/or surrogacy to do this as we are unable to have children naturally. We learned this through TTC, several miscarriages, extreme grief, sadness and many doctor visits including several fertility specialists. We have now chosen several paths towards our goal of having children. We want to use Angel Adoption Agency to work with for a baby. We are also starting Foster Care classes at the end of this month. We have set up this page to help us raise the money for adoption as it is very costly. To help us please donate whatever you feel moved to donate. We lovingly accept your financial donations as well as offer of services that we may need during the adoption process. 

Services that would be helpful are (If you have been through this process and see we are missing something please let me know so I can add it to the list):

Fundraising Help - we can use all the help we can get and we are always thrilled to receive help from people in this area as neither of us is really good at fundraising or marketing I guess it would be.

Sharing - this donation page or our facebook page would be helpful to get the word out so that someone may be able to help.

Home Study Needed - We need a National home study to be conducted. The one we are going through in Foster Care is only valid for the state of CA. If anyone is legally qualified to conduct a National Home Study and is willing to give us Free or Discounted rates please let us know.

California Adoption Attorney - (nearish Coronado) Willing to give us Free or Discounted legal service for our side of the adoption process.

Social Worker/Adoption Attorney - (in the state where the baby is found) Willing to give us Free or Discounted legal service for the birth parent.

Baby Stuff or Kid Stuff - We really do not have much in the way of either. We will need both in order to have a baby or to have children in our home for foster care.

We have been lucky that we found each other in this big world and we know that our children our out there waiting on us to find them too. We feel blessed with all of the support we have received from friends and family and coworkers. Tom is in the US Navy and the Navy is very supportive of adoptive parents and foster care. He has gotten all sorts of advice and ideas from those that he works with. The internet support of friends has been great too. Our Families are also very supportive as well. My old coworkers were wonderful and introduced me to some great people who had been through the adoption process with good advice. We are on the right path. Sorry for the very long blog!


Thank you for reading this.
Johanna and Tom