Clomid / TTC update (non wool post)

Here is another Clomid / TTC update and this one will be a bit graphic/gross so please do not read if this bothers you.


This is not a happy post so be warned a second time. I have been having bleeding for the past 3 days now. I read that breakthrough bleeding is normal but that it was more like spotting. Its like my period restarted again. I have also been having cramping/pain. I am finding myself very upset and depressed because i do not know what is wrong. I have a doctors appointment on the 22nd so hopefully we will see what is happening. I am finding myself a bit scared also. There really is no polite way to say this so I will just spit it out. We have been attempting to have sex daily in order to conceive though some days I am feeling to sore in my uterus / low abdomen area to do that. We tried last night and I had to ask my husband to stop because it was just to painful. This is not something that has ever happened to us or me before. I am not sure what could cause that level of pain in that area so I am hoping the doctor can help me figure it out.

I am finding it really hard to be motivated to do anything at all. A few days ago I ended up drinking too much at a party. I know I should be avoiding alcohol but the tests still say negative and honestly I wanted to feel better. Instead I ended up crying too much and getting sick. This is how down I have been feeling. I hoped that if I drank my body would relax enough to have sex with out pain. It didn't happen so it was all just a waste. I am sorry if this blog is less encouraging than others. I hope to post something happy about TTC soon. I also hope that someone may read this who has been through similar and post something happy. We all have hopes. I need some motivation. Then again in a few days maybe I will be all better and then just look this blog over as a reference. I met someone the other day who got pregnant on her 6 month of Clomid so I have to figure out how to keep doing this without getting so discouraged I just give up.

I also figured I would add in that I have sprained my ankle. I went outside a few days ago and stepped wrong over 3 kittens. I was trying to be careful and my foot slid in the gravel. I crashed down on my ankle and my knee. I have spent the past few days icing it and keeping it elevated. That may also be contributing to my funk in general. *hugs*

Day 5 Clomid + the next 2 days (a TTC blog not wooly)

Day 5 on Clomid was pretty uneventful and it followed the pattern of the other days. Still felt bloated, and crampy but basically fine. If I thought I was moody on clomid I think going off clomid just may be worse. My moods are still all over the place. I think my body is really confused on what time of the month it is. The clomid is attempting to make me ovulate before I normally do I think. I think by day 5 my body was getting used to the hormones so the sudden stop of them just may have angered it. Either way I have been all pissy all day long. I really just feel mad for no real apparent reason. the joys of planned parenthood...

I also really need to vent for a minute. I know that people mean well but seriously if one more person tells me that I just have to relax and it will happen I just may explode. Everyone says it with a smile and they really mean well by it. They also usually have at least a few of their own kids. Its like I should be following in their footsteps.. but they had their kids at least 8 years ago and I think that if I had done that I would have had an easier time with it too. Do people really think that if you just relax that a magical path opens up that takes the sperm directly to the ovum in a sparkling bright shiny light? Also if they do in fact believe this do they also think that the princess and the prince really do live happily ever after with no disagreements or disgusting bodily functions?

I mean come on I think we all know the way the story really goes. They live happily ever after all the way through the honey moon if they are lucky. At this point Prince Charming realizes that Sleeping Beauty snores loudly and needs a poke to turn her on the side. Sleeping Beauty also starts to get tired of Prince Charming leaving his shoes in the middle of the floor so that she trips on them in the middle of the night. Im not saying these are reasons that will cause them to get their own castles but at some point in the story they have to realize chemistry only goes so far and they actually have to work on making it last.

So I am living my dream here with my husband but at times it does feel a bit like a nightmare. Thankfully he is still here working with me to slay the beasts of dr apointments and late orders while still working on keeping the romance alive. I think happily ever after is really when you cuddle up in bed at the end of the day and just fall asleep holding each other or waking up grumpy while your partner tells you how beautiful you look first thing in the morning. You may not appreciate it at that moment but later on in the day it will surely make him smile. Love to you all!

Day 3 & 4 on Clomid (only read if interested not a wooly post)

Still recording this stuff for people like me who are trying to conceive or for me if I want to remember how the pills effected me. This is a more graphic blog so may want to avoid it unless you are looking for information on the process.

Day 3 on Clomid was a bit harder than the first two. I was much moodier. I was (and still am) feeling much more bloated than usual. The scale says Im fine so Im not worried just making a note of it. I have kept a headache for the past few days but its not stopping me from hanging out and working. Did I mention I was moodier? Yesterday (day 3) I was crying again. I was very sad, mad and slightly depressed and hopeless feeling. Thankfully those moods passed over to a happier mood most of the day. I just seem more on the edge of my emotions. Funny things will make me laugh so hard tears will run out of my eyes and I cant breath. Sad things will make me just bawl. Its like that.

I am also noticing that I besides feeling bloated I am also more sensitive in my low stomach (im guessing where all my female organs are). I have been walking with Tom and that makes me feel better. All in all we are feeling pretty hopeful. Tom still really thinks we just need to "do it" more. He is pretty confident that we will get pregnant soon.

I think this is the first time in my life that I am openly discussing these sorts of things in a public way. It is odd how we change as we get older. 10 years ago I was concerned about how I looked in a skirt and would we have fun at the club tonight. These days I love my comfy clothes and im thinking thoughts like fertility cycles. I find myself researching the weirdest things too. For instance taking Clomid helps you to release more eggs to make you more fertile. Clomid can also make your cervical mucus dry out. You need that for the sperm to get to the egg to fertilize it right. So I find myself looking at what others have done to prevent this. So far the winners seem to be more water than usual, a baby asprin from day 8 or 9 through the day of ovulation to thin the fluids, also taking musinex is supposed to help (just make sure you take the one that does not have the decongestant as that will also dry you out.

I was even looking into alternative lubricants. Most lubricants out there actually slightly inhibit-to kill sperm. This is not the desired outcome so what are my alternatives? Well I have heard of using room temperature pasteurized egg whites. Am I considering this? Well at this point I am not counting it out. While i do not think we will try that this time around should we end up going through another round of clomid we probably will. These are the sorts of things on my mind right now. I want a baby more than anything. There comes a point where there is no "just relax and it will happen" I am more of the if you want something to happen you should work towards it.

So its only midafternoon on Day 4 but so far so good. Good luck out there to anyone TTC.

Day 2 on Clomid (only read if interested not a wooly post)

Warning: These posts are geared towards trying to have a baby and not the usual stuff to do with washing, or dyeing wool or yarn. I will still be making batts but these posts are going to be more about my attempts to make a baby (grin) so only read these if you feel like it. I will describe mood and physical effects for myself in the future.

I figured I would record how I feel and respond to Clomid so that I have something to reference it to later if I need to. Yesterday I was very moody. I cried for about 2 solid hours for pretty much no reason but after that my mood picked up. I was pretty crampy for the first half of the day after taking the pills but towards the end of the day I really felt no effect. I recorded my starting weight and daily I am weighing myself at the same time of day to watch for one of the major side effects. It shows if you gain like 10-20lbs in 2-3 days. So far nothing major for me there. When I went to bed I was tender on the left side but not so much that I was unable to sleep.

Today I was still moody but less. I actually felt pretty euphoric and I did wonder if that was a side effect too because I was more happy than usual. This evening I noticed that I am more watery eyed over small things than usual too. Still crampy and mostly on the left side again. Tender but not painful. Still hoping for good things.