Today I finally started to take photos of my business stuff that I am selling. It was making me so sad though. I know its the right decision for me to make. Yet still I found myself 2nd guessing the decision as if somehow I had miraculously been cured of my pain and injuries that had resulted in me making the choice in the 1st place. Even so I got pictures of most of my equipment. I still have to sort through the fibers, yarn, dyes, and things like that. I think my scale broke in the move so I really have no way to weigh everything out right now. It seems a bit pointless to go and buy a new scale just to get rid of it. If anyone out there has gone through this I would love to hear how you coped with the loss of your business even when it was the right choice for you and your family.
I am thinking that I would really just like to sell it all in bundles at the very least. I don't want to fiddle with a whole lot of shipping or the things themselves anymore than necessary. I had to take deep breaths several times today to keep from crying. I loved my business. I loved making batts. I loved dyeing the yarns and fibers. I loved the colors and the zone I would get into when I was creating. I am afraid nothing will ever be able to replace the feeling that I used to get when creating my batts, tops, and yarns. I even loved coming up with the names and the descriptions. I loved it all. I enjoyed the festivals. I enjoyed meeting the people and making friends. Its like its all been lost now and I will have nothing to even keep as a reminder. I find I can't even knit or crochet how sucky is that? My hands and arms just hurt too much. When did this happen to me? I am really to young to feel this way. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to lose all my creative stuff but to keep it would hurt worse in the long run. I know I would just look at it and remember or try to do it and hurt so badly. It would be one of those damned if you do situations. So for my peace of mind and body it really does all have to go. My hope is that I can find another creative outlet that wont hurt so much but still let me express myself.
On a positive note I know that whoever does get any of my things will take good care of it because that is just how the fiber community is. Also the money I get from it will all go towards our adoption & foster care process. That said, I plan on selling my stuff for a decent price. Its used but in great condition. Some of its even new. I wont try to rake any one over the coals but I don't want to be taken advantage of either. If that were the case I would just donate it to charity. I also plan to put up a list not just of the things I am selling but also the things we need for our foster care and later adoption. If we could do a partial trade for some stuff that would be just as good to me as money. I have some photos and I think I will do start the blogs for what I am getting rid of and another one for what I want. For now thank you for reading! *hugs*
12 comments:
Late to the party here Johanna... why why why are you getting out of fiber???
Miss your smiling face...
Annette
Kentucky Blue Fiber
I am getting out because of my pain and energy levels. I think also partially on a subconscious level I can't help but to associate my miscarriages with the fiber and yarn. Whenever I pick it up or even see it for too long I start going back to those places where I was so depressed over our losses that I quit caring if I lived or died, nothing mattered at all. The pain really will not allow me to tolerate working the hours required to maintain the business as a business. I can't lift heavy objects anymore, or stand for long periods of time, or turn my carder handle for any real length of time. We want to focus on getting healthier and staying positive for adoption and foster care. I miss you too! I really do miss all my fiber friends.
*hugs*
Johanna
<3 *hugs*
:) I enjoy reading your posts!
I'm even later to the party :). You could try to think of it as a so long for now rather than a goodbye forever with your fiber goodies....Just think how much fun you will have with your adoptive and/or foster kids getting the excited by fiber arts. I don't know how you feel beyond reading on yourblog (hopefully there will be few that do:), but I know that pain emotionally dulls with time. Doesn't really ever leave but certainly lessens with time.
*hugs* back my friend!
I am glad that you enjoy reading them. I am trying to get back into the habit of daily writing. It is good for the soul I think!
I really did consider keeping some things just in case some of the kids were excited about the fiber arts but i wouldn't even know where to start at this point. I think if I did come back I would have to have an electric drum carder as turning the handle will just not be something I could do. Also if my kids wanted to learn to spin I think there are probably better starter wheels than the one I have. I do think I will keep my crochet hooks and needles for the time being and some yarn but I think that is about as far as I could safely go you know. Time does ease pain I know. I am not really sure how much time I need to feel like a me that would be happy and excited once again about all things fiber. I do still love color very much though. *smile*
I know you are a strong person and that you contemplated this decision for a while. If, then, this is your final decision, it is the right one. You are amazing and loving and you will get through this, even though it feels like time is standing still right now. You will get kids before you know it and all will be right with the world! Starting the foster/adopt classes will help occupy your mind and hopefully ease your pain, both physically and mentally. Let the waves take your sadness and bring in hope for you and Tom and the family you will have.
Take care sweetheart and know that I love you!!
I love you too RoLynn! Thank you for all the support you have given me!
I'm really sorry that the connection between sorrow and fiber has gotten so bad. I always enjoyed buying from you and seeing you at KY Sheep & Fiber. I pray that this will give you the new beginning you need.
Thank you so much for your kind words Carolyn. While I did fiber I did enjoy it. I also really loved the people that I was able to meet. I hope that I will be able to find the joy in the hobby side of fiber and yarn again in time, as well as the festivals. I do find myself missing the people I used to talk to on a frequent basis. Thank you for your prayers. I hope all is well with you these days too.
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